Meet Jillian Richardson | Believer, Therapist, Author, Friend

We had the good fortune of connecting with Jillian Richardson and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Jillian, we’d love to hear about how you approach risk and risk-taking
“Being risk-averse is NOT the same thing as being responsible.” That quote shook me to my core when I heard it. As someone who at times overthinks, hesitates, and likes to micromanage my next steps, I have had to form a heathier relationship with risk-taking. The way I now view risks is this: every decision you make risks something. If you take that dream job in London, you risk being lonely in a new place and maybe not liking your job. If you stay where you are at, you risk being stagnant and wondering “what if.”

Whether you act or choose inaction, get vulnerable or stay guarded, begin the new habit or stay in the old routine– you are risking something. So you have to choose which risk we are wiling to live with. Which risk are you most comfortable with defining this season of your life? I (clearly being obsessed with quotes) also resonate with Dr. Dharius Daniel’s sentiment that, “Every decision is pregnant with the possibility of producing a season.” For me, risking comfort and certainty has been a big deal. But I’ve had to do it in order to move to the next level in my life. If I wanted to release my book of poetry, Golden Hour, to the world in 2021, I had to risk being vulnerable. The reward on the other side of this risk was that my poems resonated with a lot of people then and people are still purchasing and reviewing my book nearly 2 years later. I also ended up being the #1 new release in the African Poetry Genre and #15 overall in poetry releases on Amazon the week of the book release! Had I not taken the risk of figuring out how to self-publish, market, and release my book, I would have regretted it and always wondered what could have been.

Risk has also shown up as an ally in regard to knowing when life seasons are over. In 2019, as a successful fulltime therapist, I chose to enroll in an accelerated nursing program. I had hopes of becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner and be able to prescribe mental health meds to clients. However, my desire to disrupt my life in this way was actually due to deep unhappiness in the job I had at the time, feeling unappreciated and overlooked in a toxic work environment, and comparing myself to others who were Psych NP’s and had what I thought was an easier and better life.

Because my motivations for pursuing this career were founded on a scarcity mentality and internal discontentment, no outward accolade or career change would have fixed it. However, by the time I had come to this realization, COVID had just begun, I was two semesters into a highly rigorous program, doing medical work that I did not enjoy. I was getting good grades and making friends in the program, but I was miserable with the choice I had made. It didn’t fill the hole I had hoped it would. I had no passion for what I was doing. So what could I do? I was an “over-achiever,” somewhat of a self-critical perfectionist, a highly intelligent and capable woman. I couldn’t stop now. I was trapped. I had changed my whole life, my work schedule, I had spent money on an education I no longer wanted. I saw no way out. I felt hopeless.

Then one day, I was talking to my dad on the phone about how unhappy I felt in the program and that I did not know what to do. Then he said the most profound yet simple statement that shifted how I viewed life.

“You know, it’s okay to stop. You can stop.”

I said to myself, “WHAT?! I have never quit anything before. But wait…he said “stop” not “quit.” I am allowed to stop?! Hmmph.”

I then replied hesitantly to him, “…Oh. I never considered that. But…I don’t want to be a failure.”

Like any good dad, he said of course I was not a failure; I was merely changing my mind. Can you believe that as a therapist who hands out similar wise advice to others, I never considered that this idea applied to me. I was allowed to change my mind?! And not feel shame about it? I hadn’t realized that I am no different than anyone else who decides one thing and then uses the same autonomy and agency to turn around and go another way. I was not -as they say in AA- terminally unique. These rules applied to me, too. Phew.

Dad went on to tell me about a time that he changed his course of study in college, which was a very difficult decision that ultimately paid off and led him to an undergrad degree in engineering and a masters in education. I’d never heard that story.

The semester I left was in 2020. To this day, he probably doesn’t know that his simple statement of fact set me free. Freedom lay on the other side me risking looking like a quitter to others and a failure to myself; risking not investing two more years into this education and potentially making more money than I ever had thought possible. But if I would not have risked these things, I would have never had time and energy to pour into my book of poetry, which has been truly fulfilling. And more importantly, I would have been living in the shadow of the “I’ll show them” and “What will people say” demons. I took the risk of deciding that this season was over. And I know for a fact I am happier now that I would have been if I would have stayed on that path.

Knowing when something is complete, is finished, is NOT the same as quitting or giving up. And the only way I could learn that was to risk throwing away a future I did not even truly want. What risks have you been avoiding under the guise of “being responsible” or “waiting until the time is right”? What risks are you willing to forego? What will you never forgive yourself for not risking?

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Being a creative can be a heavy crown to wear, because while what we create is deeply personal, we feel a drive to share it with the world. I am proud that I have come to learn that the poems that resonate most with people are the ones that are most specific and detailed to my life. People don’t feel seen and known by reading vague platitudes; they feel embraced by every word that spills from a vulnerable pen. I got to the place of sharing my vulnerability through poetry by being affirmed by others, by being told I was worth and talented, by being given constructive criticism, by being challenged to read more, by being held accountable to not procrastinate on releasing the work, by being aware of when the book was complete, not perfect. I want the world to know that leaning into authenticity is a long game, but it eventually will open the right doors and close the wrong ones. By leaning into my passion and a natural gifting as a writer and poet, doors into editing and ghostwriting for others have now opened. And I enjoy using this slightly different writing muscle immensely. JillianWrites as a brand is founded on being on mission to walk alongside people as they become; pen words that heal; and partner with others to make their written works come alive.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Day one is a relaxing night in to recharge from travel. I can be a homebody and I love how inviting and hospitable my space is. So we are doing charcuterie, drinks, some self-care, and movies! The rest of the week, we are hitting Ascend Amphitheater for a Leon Bridges outdoor concert, we’re walking the pedestrian bridge. One day, we have to go to Farmer’s Market, grab a wine slush at the Natchez Hills Winery in the Market. Then we’ll hit the Jefferson Street Art Crawl in the evening. A chill happy hour at Sedona Taphouse, then Christie Cookie or Cupcake Collection for dessert is a must. We have to visit Slim and Husky’s and walk around 5 Points. The Red Door Saloon, Beyond the Edge, I Dream of Weenie, and Rosemary & Beauty Queen are all in the cozy 5 Points East Nash community, which I only live about 10 minutes from. We’ll have to go to a NSC Soccer game and a Preds game! I have a friend who can get us box seats at Bridgestone, so maybe we’ll see my fave, J. Cole, there. We’ll end the week with a short morning hike to a nearby waterfall, maybe Cummins Falls. Then brunch at Nadine’s! Is that doing the most? That would be a lit week, in my humble opinion.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My dad, my mom, my sister, my tribe of best friends, wise older friends that I consider mentors, and my Rural Hill church community. The inspiration of Toni Morrison’s novel, Sula. My on-campus therapist during my two semesters in nursing school; she saw how disconnected I was from myself and my heart space; she reflected back goodness and worthiness I could not see in myself at the time.

Website: jillianwrites.net

Instagram: JillianWrites

Other: Psychology Today Verified Profile for Therapy- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/jillian-richardson-lebanon-tn/754709

Image Credits
All photos except for the two of me in the orange blouse, are taken by Nita In Nashville Photography https://www.instagram.com/nitainnashville/?hl=en